I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
