I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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