I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
jump out the window naked night went bad
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