I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
