She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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