a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
