Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize