I heard we made out
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
