I hate your face
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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