You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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