i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
