TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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