Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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