Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
