Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
