I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
