just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
