Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
