I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
