I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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