i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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