I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
