She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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