Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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