worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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