I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
