Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
