You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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