I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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