Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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