What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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