She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
