Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
