i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my shit smells like andre
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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