the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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