I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
