I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
