The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
