i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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