i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
