I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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