I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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