We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Liz is crying about burritos again.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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