Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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