tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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