scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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