What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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