he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize