I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize