It's Friday. Sex?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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