My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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