Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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