it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
