If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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