Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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