Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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