OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
