addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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