He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
