I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
