i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
