my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
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