I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
